Blagues de la 2e GM

[von Aasen]

Quelques blagues sur la WW2 que j'ai récupérées au fil du temps, en anglais toutefois

German definition of ideal war :German weapons,Russian winter equipment,British summer equipment,American rations,French entertainment tournees,Italians as foes and Finns guarding flanks.

How can you tell that soldiers in the eastern front are good friends? When the soldier comes back from leave,his division has came backward 200km to meet him.

The skipper of a Polish submarine in WWII is asked: "you see in your periscope a German and a Soviet cruiser. Which one do you attack first?"
"Of course the German one", the Polish officer answers, "duty is always before pleasure".

Question: How can you tell a German plane from an Allied plane?
Answer: If it's black, it's British. If it's silver, it's American. If it's not there, it's German.

Q. What is the Italian battle flag? A. A white cross on a white background.

Q. What is the shortest book ever written? A. Italian War Heroes.

Q. What's got six reverse gears and one forward gear? A. An Italian tank. The forward gear is in case they get attacked from behind.

Q. What nation's soldiers had the most sunburnt armpits of WWII? A. Italy's soldiers

A Finnish soldier was in lookout during night,when he heard noise from no-man's-land.He called the mortar section and asked for some grenades."Shells cost 100 mk each,we can't shoot if you don't see the enemy" said the mortar officer."Well I have 300 mk in my wallet.Give me 3 shells"replied soldier.

A nazi party official is driving in countryside when he runs over a pig.He doesn't see anyone around , so he goes to a nearby bearhouse to find the owner.He opens the door, makes nazisalute and shouts"heil Hitler:Das schwein ist tot".At first dead silence and then loud cheers and barowner says that drinks are on the house.

A lion escapes from a zoo in Berlin. A young man leaps from the crowd and knocks the lion out before it harms enyone.A reporter asked what the name of the brave young man is."Moses Levi"replied the man.Next day in the newspaper:Barbaric jew beats a noble animal to ground.

An experienced German beer drinker finally gets suspicious about the wartime quality..he sends a beer sample to a testing laboratory... the results come eack... your horse has diabetes!!

Berlin, 1945 : Soviet opinion on german communists-"Our german comrades would storm the railway station only if they buyed tickets first."

A little jewish man in a concentration camp is ordered to see the commander. The commander says: "Listen jew, I am in good mood tonight, I give you a chance- I have got a glass eye, it is the best product of germany quality- if you can tell what eye is the glass eye, I let you go. I give you my word as an officer!"
Without thinking twice the little jewish man says: "it´s the right one!"
The Hauptsturmführer is amazed and says: "I cant believe it! Thats right! I will let you go, but you have to tell me- how did you notice the right one was the glass eye?
The jew answers politely: Excuse me, Herr Hauptsturmführer, just because it has some human touch....

A handbill the Marines distributed around Guam during that island's recapture...


TONIGHT

BANZAI CHARGE

Thrills Chills Suspense

See Saki Crazed Japs Charge at High Port
See Everybody Shoot Everybody
See the Cream of the Marine Corps Play
with Live Ammo

Sponsored by the Athletic and Morale
Office

Come Along and Bring a Friend

Don't Miss the Thrilling spectacle of the
Banzai Charge, Starting at 10 p.m. and
Lasting All Night

ADMISSION FREE